The stories of Two-Spirit youth must continue: A 16 Days reflection
The following content may be triggering.
For Two-Spirit crisis support in Canada, call or text 988 for immediate, culturally-safe help.
Back in one of my home communities, a boy was coming to terms with his sexuality. He turned to his family for support. The family did what they could to help him understand himself – as someone who is gay or Two-Spirit. This is good to hear. They lived in a small community where support can be hard for people who identify as 2SLGBTQIA+.
The boy signed up for a youth confidence-building summer workshop, which helps young people understand their strengths and abilities so they can set good goals for themselves in life. My nephew signed up too, as all Indigenous youth need that teaching. The workshop was a success and the youth had a good time.
A few years later, my mom informed me that the youth who came out and attended the workshop with my nephew, and was then a young man, was found dead near his home. He committed suicide.
This story always makes me sad and upset. Ever since this news had come to me, I decided to be more vocal about mental health, especially within the Two-Spirit community. The little things we do or can do to help one another, no matter what we say, are important.
It’s never a bad thing to look for help from a therapist, an Elder, friends and family. One can have the greatest confidence in the world but one should feel safe at the same time. It’s a practice of having relationships that are sacred in trust.
When I was in seminary studies, I was building those relationships with certain colleagues to help “come out” to others. It took some time, considering I knew some of the views that some others had about the 2SLGBTQ+ community. But I decided to make myself vulnerable during our course studies on Gender and Family Violence. I spoke with our Elders the day before to explain what I was going to do. And with humble eyes, they softly told me, “As long as you feel safe, you do what you need to do. And remember, we are standing behind you.”
Many Elders, either Two Spirit or not, have the gift of listening and understanding and will not get in the way of one pursuing one’s path. It’s the understanding, the feeling and act of safety that needs to be placed within one to exalt confidence. The emotions are part of that journey because the mind and heart must work together to work out the conflict within and dissolve the generational trauma that has exhausted one from being able to be oneself without social and communal judgement.
So, the message I want to share is that one must want to help or get help. One must not only feel the need for help but to say it.
And so, when I think of that young man, of my own journey, and of the teachings of our Elders, I am reminded that healing begins with a single act of courage: the willingness to say, “I need help.” Support cannot reach us unless we reach out. My hope is that we continue building communities where asking for help is welcomed, where safety is felt and where Two-Spirit youth – and all youth – can walk in confidence, knowing they are surrounded by love.
Let us continue building a world where reaching out is seen as strength, not shame, and where every Two-Spirit youth knows their life is sacred, their voice matters and their story deserves to continue.
By Murray Pruden, Indigenous Rights Director
